


Young love murder

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Autistic Character, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Hand Feeding, M/M, MTF Kíli, Marriage, Mentions of Character Death, Pushing Daisies AU, Trans Female Character, almost canon, autistic Ori, cherries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-13 04:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1213243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ori/Kili short stories</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. cherries

**Author's Note:**

> So. I am not a very organised person, except when I am. And the utter mess that is my "prompt and ficlet" collection is getting on my nerves terribly, especially where recurrent pairings are concerned. And since I've started new collections for some of my ships, I think it was more than time that Ori and Kili had theirs too, because of obvious reasons.
> 
> The title is from Ke$ha's "The Harold Song" which is my "official" Orilik song (listen to it)(then think of a post BofA Ori)(you are now sad, and so am I)
> 
> But don't worry I swear this won't be just side stories. In fact, the first one is a happy one!

Ori knew that he should maybe have complained when Kili had come to kidnap him from his house right in front of Dori… but it was difficult to be angry to have a chance to escape his brother and spend time with the princess at the same time.

Still, he was intrigued. Kili hadn’t said where they were going, and they were getting away from the center of town… but then all of a sudden the princess pushed Ori in a small alley, and then through a small door.

"What’s this place?" Ori asked, a little more worried than he’d ever admit.

"We use it to store things that we’ll sell to humans," Kili explained, dragging Ori in a corner. "Hardly anyone comes here the rest of the time, so we’ll be safe enough."

"Safe for what?"

Kili grinned at him. “I’ve got something for you. But I had to hide them here… Fili would have stolen them otherwise.”

"Them?"

The princess’s grin widened and she nodded eagerly, pulling Ori under a huge sheet. There was a little room there, but not so much that they didn’t have to sit very close to each other. Ori didn’t really mind, even when Kili pushed him by accident, trying to reach something to her side.

Ori gasped in wonder when she showed him a basket so small it could fit in one of her hands.

"Cherries!" he whispered. "Real cherries! How did you even…"

"I traded them for that dagger I made the other day," Kili explained, delicately picking one cherry between her fingers and bringing it to Ori’s mouth. "I also got some vegetables for it, a couple tomatoes and pepper that I gave to mother, but these… these I wanted to share with you."

Ori opened his mouth to protest, but Kili pushed the fruit between his lips, and all thoughts fled from his mind as he bit down. It was so fresh and sweet, and Ori couldn’t help a moan as he chewed slowly, so slowly, to make sure not to lose anything of the taste. When he finished his first cherry, he opened eyes he hadn’t realised he’d closed, and saw that Kili was staring at him with flushed cheeks. She fed him another fruit, but he refused the third one, pushing her hand toward her own mouth.

"Your turn," he said breathlessly.

Kili’s blush deepened but she accepted the fruit. When she bit it, a drop of sugary juice escaped her lips and ran down her chin, and it would have been criminal to let it go to waste, so Ori leaned to lick it. Then, because he was there, he licked Kili’s mouth too, tasting the sweetness of cherry mixing with the taste of her, and nothing in the world had ever been better than that.


	2. Pushing Daisies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori is a very special dwarf, who can bring people back to life with a single touch.  
> When Kili dies defending Erebor, Ori doesn't hesitate and does the only thing he can do.  
> And if there are consequences to his decision, he will deal with them.

The first time Ori woke the dead, it was a rat he'd found on the street. He'd been playing with a few other kids when they'd found the dead animal and dared each other to touch it. The rat had been very much dead when the first few children touched it, but as soon as Ori's finger brushed it, it squeaked and bit him.

Ori was so busy crying and running home to have his wound treated, he never noticed another rat dropping dead, exactly a minute later.

 

A few days later, Ori discovered that his gift came with consequences. His best friend Kherdin fell one day and broke his neck. Ori and another friend by the name of Throin were with him. Ori touched Kherdin, and brought him back, but before they were done celebrating, Throin fell to the ground, dead. Ori, in a moment of panick and fear, grabbed Kherdin's hand, and he collapsed too, dead again.

It was a hard earned lesson about his gift, and once he recovered from having lost his two best friends, Ori made a vow.

He would never again have friends.

 

 _Technically_ , he kept to that vow, because it wasn't friendship he felt for Kili, it was love.

The fact that Kili returned his affections only made things worse. Ori tried to keep the prince at a distance... but to be perfectly honest, he wasn't trying very hard. It was much too pleasant to be around Kili. They laughed and joked and maybe flirted a little, when no one was around to smile knowingly at them. They even almost kissed a few times, but were always interrupted, much to their mutual annoyance.

The only kiss they did get was right before rushing into battle against orcs and wargs.

Kili had grabbed Ori and pulled him close to press their lips together. It wasn't the most artful of kisses, and if Ori had had more experience, he might have found this particular kiss rather bad. Things being what they were, he thought it was perfect.

“After the battle I'll kiss you again,” Kili whispered against his lips. “I love you, and I intend to kiss you every moment of my life from now on, for as long as I live.”

“I'm fine with that,” Ori answered, too shocked to say anything else.

Neither knew that Ori would never again see Kili alive.

 

The prince's body was intact, globally, save for a few marks left by arrows, and a clear lack of blood. Ori didn't really think. Kili was dead, and that was unbearable. Kili was dead and it was _wrong_. A world were the prince couldn't laugh wasn't a world anyone should live in. So Ori did the only thing he could, and he kissed Kili. He didn't wait to see the prince wake up though, and instead ran away, shouting that Kili had survived.

And as he did, he knew he could never see the prince again. A touch would mean Kili's death, and he wasn't sure either of them could refrain from touching.

* * *

 

Kili felt as if he would break any moment. He couldn't deal with his brother and uncle's death. He couldn't deal with anyone's death. He couldn't deal with being king. He couldn't deal with Ori breaking up with him.

The last one made him feel petty and selfish, but in a way it was the hardest thing to deal with, because he didn't _understand_ it. The pain of losing Fili and Thorin was constant and keeping him awake at night, but he understood it, he had seen their wounds, he had been told the story of their passing. He understood the other deaths too, because there were no wars without casualties. And the weight of the crown was heavy, and something he had never really prepared for, but he had been around his uncle and brother enough that it wasn't entirely a surprise. But Ori?

They had been in _love_ , and though they had never explicitly spoken about it, Kili had made it as clear as he could that he would ask for Ori's hand when the whole business with Smaug was over. They had been in love and happy and he needed Ori's love and support because everything else in his life was painful and difficult and scary... and that only possible comfort had been taken from him when Nori had come to him to tell him that Ori was putting an end to their relationship.

Ori hadn't even done it to his face. That too had hurt.

And there he was, six months later, and they hadn't talked once since then.

Kili wished that Fili were still there, he would have known what to do regain the affections of someone who wouldn't even tell you what you'd done wrong to lose them in the first place.

Or he might have just found how to distract his brother from his broken heart, which was the next best thing.

He also wished his uncle were there. Thorin wouldn't have understood what a broken heart felt like if one hit him in the face, but he was good at giving orders, and following orders was always a good distraction for Kili. Only, he was king now, so now one gave him orders anymore. They gave him advice, but it wasn't really the same.

Still, he was glad for Balin's very definitive and absolute advice. It felt so close to orders that it really helped, sometimes.

“Are you even listening to me?” Balin asked, making him jump.

Kili had gotten distracted. It happened when he thought about Ori. Or when Balin tried to discuss trade arrangements with him. Kili did his best, but anything involving numbers gave him headaches.

“I'm listening,” he lied. “I'm really listening. We are sending people to... the Iron Hills?”

“Glad you were with me for this part. We are sending scribes and copyists to the Iron Hills to make copy of official documents they have there to replenish our library that suffered a fair deal under Smaug's... presence.”

“Oh, that's a great idea,” Kili managed to answer, trying to ignore the way his heart squeezed painfully at the word scribe.

“Yes, Ori was the one who suggested it,” Balin said, in a tone that implied it could only have been a brilliant idea.

Once upon a time, Kili who have agreed that this was brilliant. But right at that moment he couldn't, because he was fighting to keep breathing, as he always did when someone spoke of Ori in front of him. Balin was quick to realize his mistake of course, and he gently patted Kili's shoulder.

“There, there, it's okay lad. He'll be quite safe there, and maybe this will help after all. Maker knows the two of you have been miserable for months, maybe fresh air will do the trick.”

“What do you mean _fresh air_?” Kili gasped, briefly regaining control of his lungs.

“Well, it was Ori's idea,” Balin stated. “Of course he's going there too. He asked to have a permanent position there, but we'll have to negotiate for that. And we will, trust me. I don't know why you decided to ditch that poor boy, but I think you owe him a new life somewhere else.”

The disapproval in Balin's voice hurt, but not as much as the accusation did.

“I didn't break up with him!” Kili protested. “I loved him, I still love him, I always will love him, I would never have broken up with him!”

“But then...”

“He's the one who sent Nori to tell me that we can't be together anymore, he's the one who's been avoiding me and refuses to give me an explanation!” Kili gasped for breath, and fought back tears. “I love him and he doesn't love me anymore and I don't know why! And now you're saying he hates me so much that he's running away from this kingdom, and I'll be the heartless one if I don't let him do it?”

Kili was aware that he was shouting at someone who hadn't done anything to him. If anything, Balin had helped him during the past few months, and without his uncle's trusted advisor and friend, Kili didn't know what he would have done... but the mere idea that idea that anyone could suspect him of having hurt Ori...

Ori was hurt?

“Ori is hurt?” he asked. “By the situation, I mean?”

Balin nodded slowly.

“But that's stupid,” Kili whispered, frowning. “He's the one who ended it. He's the one who should be happy of the situation. Why would he be _sad_?”

“I'm not sure, but he is,” Balin said hesitantly. “We all thought you had ended it. Even Dori thought so. Kili...” He stopped a moment, as if unsure to continue. “I have known that boy for years, Kili, and before he met you, I never saw him get close to anyone, not until you.”

Kili nodded. He knew that. Ori had told him that since his two best friends had died when he was a child, he'd kept himself away from people.

“He's been _miserable_ without you, Kili,” Balin claimed. “And you haven't been any better. There's not one of us in the company that ever doubted his love for you. And I imagine I should respect Ori's decision, he's clever enough to know what he's doing, but...”

“But?”

“But you will find him in the royal library, doing an inventory in the fiction section.”

Kili lost his breath again.

It didn't stop him from leaping from his chair and dashing out of his office and toward the library.

 

Ori was on top of a ladder when Kili found him, and he was trying to decipher something on a half burned book. It was painful to see him, and at the same time it made Kili strangely happy. As quietly as he could, he walked to the ladder, and stopped right in front of it. It probably wasn't very honest of him to cut Ori's only retreat like this, but if the last few months had taught him one thing, it was that when Ori had a chance for retreat, he always took it. And this time, Kili wouldn't allow it.

This time, he wanted answers.

“Hello, Ori,” Kili said, and the reaction was immediate: the scribe squawked, and though he was almost at the top of his ladder, he still managed to climb a few steps higher, as if to put as much distance as possible between him and Kili.

“Go away!” Ori hissed, keeping his eyes on the bookshelves. “I'm not talking to you!”

“I've noticed, yeah. Why?”

“Because we're over. I thought I had made it clear.”

“Yes. Why, though?”

Ori hunched up, and was silent for a few seconds. “You're king now, and no one wants to see a king involved with a mother's son?”

“Is that a statement or a question?”

“It's a statement?”

“Well, it's a wrong statement then. Thorin gave us his blessing, and you are a hero, and I love you. If you're not worthy of me, no one is.”

Ori thought about it again. “We cannot have children,” he pointed out. “The throne will need an heir someday, and I cannot give you that.”

Kili laughed. “Okay, now that's a shit excuse. I can adopt. _We_ can adopt. Or I can just pick one of Dain's kids and call them my heir, we don't even have to raise a child if you don't want to be a parent.”

“I don't love you anymore,” Ori tried.

The word didn't hurt, not the way Kili thought they should have. Maybe it was because Ori's voice was shaking as he said them. Or it might have been the way this hadn't been the first thing he'd said to justify the break up. The fact that he still refused to look at Kili didn't help.

“I think that's not true,” Kili said, putting one foot on the first step.

Ori yelped, and almost lost his balance.

Kili removed his foot, and took a step back.

“Don't come near me,” Ori begged. “Please. I'm going away very soon, to the Iron Hills, and until then you can't come near me. It's over, we can never be together again.”

“But I love you,” Kili protested.

“I know.”

“And you love me.”

Ori didn't say anything, and that was a confession in itself, Kili decided. He stepped closer again, but didn't touch the ladder again, fearing the other's reaction.

“Ori, I love you,” the prince repeated. “I don't care that you're a mother's son. I don't care that we can't have children. All I care about is that I love you, and I need you. You are the only good thing left that I have, and if I've really lost you too... some days, I wonder if it wouldn't have been better if I'd died with Fili and Thorin.”

“No!” Ori shrieked, going down a few steps, before realizing what he was doing and getting back up again. “No, you can't say that, Kili. You had to survive. It'd have been to awful if you hadn't survived, and I don't know what I'd done... You had to survive. The world isn't right if you're not in it!”

Taking that as encouragement, Kili went back on the first step of the ladder.

“You can't say that when you're ignoring me and pretending you hate me. It's not fair. You don't know what it's been like for me! I've lost my brother, and I've lost my uncle, and I've lost you!”

“Yes, well, I've lost you too!” Ori snapped back, “And twice, too!”

“What?”

Ori bit his bottom lip. “Forget that. I'm talking nonsense.”

“That you are,” Kili grunted. “And I'm tired of having to shout because you're so high up. Come down, please.”

“No.”

“Then _I'm_ coming _up_.”

“No!” Ori yelled, and the terror in his voice had Kili freeze on the spot. “Please don't come up, please. You have to get away from me, please. We can't be together, I'm so sorry.”

“Tell me why.”

“I can't. I'm sorry Kili, I just can't.”

“If you don't tell me, I'm coming up,” Kili threatened, climbing to the second step. It hurt to see Ori recoil that way, but he needed answers. And if the only way to get these answers was to hurt his lover... well, they were both hurting anyway, what was a little more?

“You'll hate me if I tell you,” Ori whispered. “You'll really hate me.”

“Tell me anyway,” Kili demanded, and Ori gasped when the prince put a foot on the third step.

“Go back on the ground and I'll tell you,” he hurriedly said. “I promise, but you have to get away from me, don't come any closer. Get back on the floor and I'll tell you everything, I promise, just don't come near me.”

Kili obeyed.

Ori did as promised.

His tale was a strange one, full of deadly magic and bargains and bringing the dead back to life. Kili would have laugh, except for the way that Ori cried and shook, perched on top of his ladder. The worst, he thought, was that Ori's tale fitted reality too well. Balin had told him that they had all believed him dead, until Ori had asked to see him, and then minutes later Kili was breathing again and perfectly fine, if terribly thirsty. He had been dead, until the moment he wasn't.

And Ori had been right on one thing: for a moment, Kili truly hated him.

“What about Fili and Thorin?” he shouted. “Couldn't you bring back my brother at least? He was your friend! You liked him, you laughed with him, and... and he was my brother and I needed him, I still need him, why didn't you bring him back too?”

“Each life costs a life,” Ori whispered. “Someone died for you to be brought back. I don't know who. I didn't try to know. But I killed someone to have you back, and that's already more than I should have done.”

“Is that why you're avoiding me? Because you feel _guilty_?”

Ori shook his head, his face drenched in tears. He looked so miserable that some of Kili's anger melted away, replaced by an impulse to take the scribe in his arms and hold him safe. He didn't touch the ladder again, though. He had promised, and he wanted the rest of his explanation.

“Why did you leave, Ori?” he asked. “You've just said you broke a rule for me, why avoid me now? Why did you bring me back if not to be with me?”

“There's two rules,” Ori explained, fighting back sobs. “One touch and you live, but someone else dies. That's the first rule. The other rule is, if I touch you again, you are dead, for good.”

Kili felt breathless once more, and he took a step away from the ladder. He didn't know what he'd expected when he'd come to confront Ori and get answers, but certainly not that.

It might have been less cruel to hear that his lover didn't care for him anymore, or that he'd met someone else.

“That's not fair,” Kili said.

“I don't make the rules. I'm so sorry. Maybe I should have told you right away, but I was afraid...”

Kili nodded. He could imagine why Ori would be afraid. The only thing Kili had had in mind when he'd woken up, and after learning what had happened to his family, had been to hold Ori, or be held by him. Even now, knowing it would kill him, he wanted it.

“That's why you're leaving,” he realized.

“I'm protecting you.”

“I don't want to be protected.”

Ori shrugged, as if Kili's desires mattered little.

“You have people who need you,” Ori pointed out, confirming Kili's thoughts. “You are the king. People depend on you. I thinking if Erebor loses any more kings, it'll get a bad reputation, and we'll have fought for nothing, because no one wants to live in a cursed place. That's why I'm going. And also because I can't... I can't risk seeing you die by my hand. I just can't, Kili. I don't think I'd survive it.”

“Well, I certainly wouldn't,” Kili tried to joke, and it got him a sad little smile. But a smile nonetheless. “I don't want to lose you. Please stay in Erebor at least.”

“It's a bad idea.”

“I'll keep away from you, I promise.”

“Yeah. But I'm not sure _I_ can,” Ori confessed. “Every day, I've wanted... it's so hard to be so close to you, and yet not be able... I can't bear it anymore. I'm... I'm not just leaving for you. I'm leaving for me, too. I want to touch you too much for it to be safe.”

“It's not fair.”

Ori tilted his head, a sad smile on his lips that Kili wanted to kiss, just as he had right before the battle.

“Life's not fair, love,” Ori sighed. “But it's still better than death.”

Kili didn't answer. He wasn't sure he entirely agreed with that. Not now that he knew he really was alone, that he really had lost Ori, and for ever...

He wondered if it was selfish of him to wish that Ori hadn't brought him back. It probably was. But if he'd died, he wouldn't have been alone. Worse than alone.

Being alone would have been one thing.

Being stuck in a world where Ori loved him, wanted him, and was leaving out of love for him was far worse than being merely _alone_.

“I'll write to you,” Ori said, as if that might soften the blow.

It didn't.

“I'll answer,” Kili promised. “I'll write everyday. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Ori replied. “I always will.”

Kili forced himself to smile.

This was worse than death, worse than merely being alone. But he would learn to deal with it.

What other choice did he have?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched Pushing Daisies for the first time, and of course I had to do a crossover of sorts. Than it turned out angsty. I am so very sorry.  
> Oh, and if you've seen the show... the "one free minute" thing rule applies to Ori too, but I'm not sure he ever really tried to figure out the finer details of his power. He just didn't want to risk it.


	3. nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: during the journey, one has a nightmare and the other comforts him

Ori was crying in his sleep, and Kili didn’t know what to do. Ori wasn’t supposed to cry. Ever. Ori was strong and brave and amazing and he didn’t cry.

Except now.

It wasn’t exactly new for him to be having sleeping problems. Since everything that had happened in the Misty Mountains and with Azog, Ori hadn’t slept well. He’d tried to hide it but Kili wasn’t stupid…  she’d seen how tired Ori was, seen the dark circles under his eyes, even if they hadn’t been able to sleep together in a while…

Ori had sought his brothers’ company at night since the Misty Mountains, and that too had been proof that something was wrong.

But they were safe now, at Beorn’s. As safe as they could be under the circumstances. And Ori had agreed to sleep next to Kili, which had made her so happy at first. She wasn’t sure she still was happy. She didn’t know how to deal with this, but she was sure Dori would have known.

Still, she had to try. Because Ori was crying, and that was  _not_  okay.

"Don’t worry love," she whispered to his ear, wiping away his tears with her thumb. "I’m here with you and you’re safe."

There was a loud sob, but Ori appeared to calm down. Or maybe it was just that Kili desperately needed to believe he was calming down.

"No one will ever harm you again," she promised, holding him tenderly and kissing the tip of his ear. "I’m here. I’ll protect you. I will always protect you. As long as I’m alive, no one, nothing will ever harm you."

The tears had stopped. She could still feel his heart beating too fast, but it wasn’t as fast as it’d been at first. Gently, Kili stroked his hair, his arm, any part of him she could reach, hoping to make him feel safe.

"I love you. You’re safe and I love you. You’re safe and I love you."

She repeated it again and again to his ear, until the words felt strange on her tongue, until she wasn’t sure she was still saying words at all. She repeated promises of safety and love until she fell asleep too, still holding him.


	4. first love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Kili fell in love when they were children

Ori held Kili’s hand, and smiled.

The first time he’d met Kili, they’d been children, young ones, too. Too young to know much about love, and yet when Ori had seen Kili, he’d known.

"When we grow up, we’ll get married."

That was the first thing he’d ever told Kili. The little prince had looked at him, critically, and had smiled.

"Okay."

And just like that, they’d been engaged.

Adults had thought it was sweet, and they’d smiled, and agreed to let them play together as much as they wanted. Everyone had been certain that once this infatuation stopped, friendship would grow between them. Ori had always found that odd. He didn’t see why the two were incompatible. He loved Kili, who in time had also become his best friend.

They’d always been there for each other.

When Ori’s father died. When Nori left home, never to come back. When his apprenticeship left him exhausted and his hands hurt so much he couldn't even hold his spoon.

When Kili’s father’s died too. When Kili told Dis and Thorin about really being a girl actually. When her responsibilities became too much and she didn’t feel like she could face it all.

They were always there for each other. There were fights, but none that lasted. There were secrets, but none that could keep them apart.

They went through life together, always, and their families still smiled when they talked of mariage, but it was no longer an amused smile. It was a fond one. Everyone was happy for them, having found their One at such a young age.

They were in this together, for ever.

Except forever had not lasted as long as they could have hoped.

Ori held Kili’s hand, and smiled.

He’d promised her that he would smile when she was returned to the stone, and he couldn't fail to keep his last promise to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I were a braver writer/someone with less of a history of never finishing things, I'd write more about these two babies growing up 200% certain that they're going to marry, and them dealing with growing up and people not taking them seriously and having bad times and all their good times and all the moments that proved to them that yeah, they were in love and there's no one else for them than that dumb perfect idiot


	5. pronunciation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone on tumblr posted about, and I quote: "Baby Kili not able to pronounce Ori correctly, and calls him Odi for about twenty years"  
> and I just  
> yes

"Wanna play with Odi!" Kili demanded, pouting and crossing his arms on his chest. "Wanna play now!"

Dis looked up from her account book and frowned, wondering which of his toys bore that name.

"Go play elsewhere, dear. I’m busy. Or you can see if Fili is done with his practice…"

"Don’t wanna Fee. Wanna Odi! Please amad, please, wanna Odi!"

"What is an Odi, darling?"

"Not Odi,  _Odi_!” Kili corrected furiously, pouting even more. “Wanna play with Odi! Please? Odi! Play with Odi again?”

It was difficult to refuse anything to Kili when he was begging this way, his big brown eyes staring right at her as if he could see right into her soul, and Dis would have agreed… if only she had any idea of what he wanted.

Unless…

"Oh! Darling, are you saying you want to go play with Ori?"

"Yes!" Kili cheerfully shouted, nodding so hard Dis thought his head might fall. "Please amad, please, wanna play with Odi!"

Dis smiled, and glanced at her account book. It would be so much easier to work if she knew that Kili wasn’t alone and up to mischief. Beside, Dori was always glad to have someone to play with his brother…

"Very well. Go fetch your coat, Kili. We’re going to see if you can play with Ori today."


	6. naked cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trying to do a "30 days of nsfw challenge"  
> so far the plan is to make it all Ori/Kili  
> so enjoy
> 
> today: naked cuddles because trapped in a cave

They rushed into the cave, giggling and shrieking like children whenever they saw a lightening or heard thunder. They were soaked to the bone by the time they got inside, but neither of them cared. Kili knew there was wood there, because she’d put some to dry last time she’d been there with her brother. Once she had started the fire, they both knew that the best thing to do was to remove their wet clothes and wait for everything to dry while the storm died out.

They were both fighting with the buttons and laces of their underwear when Ori realized what was happening, panicked and froze. Kili caught up only half a second later, her hands going still on a button. She looked up toward her friend. Their eyes met for half a second before they both turned away, blushing.

It was not that they did not want to be naked together. They both wanted it very much, and they both suspected that the other wanted it too, but they were not sure. They had not even yet reached the point where they called each other anything but friends, although their other friends liked to point out that they did things together they did with no one else. Such as gazing longingly when they thought no one could see them, or sitting on each other’s lap sometimes as a joke and then forgetting about it and staying there, or even holding hands when they were walking. Kili had been very seriously looking into a way to move to the next step of their not-so-subtle this-is-so-not-flirting. Ori, too, had been trying to figure out what to do, although he’d been more honest and he privately acknowledged that they were, indeed, flirting.

The point being, neither of them felt quite ready to be naked in front of the other, but both of them wanted very much to see the other undressed while knowing they were not supposed to admit that just yet.

“We’ll catch a cold if we keep these wet things,” Kili said tentatively. She was trying to sound as if she had enough experience in such matters to be certain of that, but she just came out as nervous and half scared.

“Nori always say that,” Ori agreed with the same uncertainty to his voice. “Also…” He hesitated. Glanced at Kili. Took a deep breath, and decided that this was worth the risk. “Better to share warmth.”

Kili let out a nervous sound, something that might have been a giggle.

“Yes,” she gasped. “Warmth. Important! We. We’ve got to share. Your brothers would kill me if I let you get sick in any way! Not that just a night in the cold should do much because we’re not Men, and you’re strong and…” Kili stopped as she realized that she was no longer arguing for the right thing. “Better not to take any risks,” she resumed. “So we’d better. Finish undressing and. Share. Warmth?”

Ori nodded quickly, his eyes on the ground between his feet. They resumed their undressing, with only the sounds of the raging storm to be heard. Kili carefully put her clothes near the fire to let them dry faster, and Ori did the same. They stood side by side for a moment, neither daring to make the first move until a lightening falling closer to the cave startled them and made Kili yelp. Ori immediately took her hand to comfort her and this time when their eyes met, they did not look away.

They sat down together, near the fire, and almost immediately fell into the position they were used to; Ori was huddled against Kili, one arm around her waist, while the princess’ arm was around his shoulder, holding him close. It was how they always sat when they could, but suddenly it felt entirely knew. Kili would never have thought that anyone’s skin could be so soft (Ori was thinking the same about hers) nor that anyone could be so warm (Ori thought she was a furnace, burning like dragon fire, and he wanted to pull her even closer to burn with her).

Outside the storm raged on, but they no longer saw nor heard it.

They knew, both of them, that something was happening in this cave, just by holding each other this way, and that the world would never again be the same.


	7. naked kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Kili take things slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for some body dysphoria

The afternoon in the cave had changed a lot of things, but many others had remained the same. Kili still took Ori’s hands whenever they were walking side by side, and Ori still huddled against her whenever they sat together. They still chatted (or rather Kili chatted and Ori listened and nodded or rolled his eyes and interrupted her when she was saying something too silly or annoying) and they still laughed and some things _could_ _not_ change.

But now there were kisses too, and kisses were nice. And there were wandering hands when they were cuddling, which was also very nice.

And the next time they got naked together, it was very much on purpose.

It did not happen in a cave that time, but instead in a small shed that belonged to one of Ori’s cousin and that Ori had turned into a small studio. A studio with a mattress large enough to have two people on it if they laid very close to each other. Officially that was because sometimes Ori got so caught up with his work that when he noticed time had passed, it was safer for him to stay there to sleep. And that was true of course, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t also thought of spending time on that mattress with Kili, in various states of undress.

That afternoon was the first time they were naked on the mattress though. In fact, it was the first time they were naked together since the cave, and for a moment Ori had hoped they would… but then, Kili had changed her mind, feeling uncomfortable right then in her body that did not express desire the way she’d have liked.

“Next time,” she promised, and Ori kissed her cheek.

“Maybe. If you want. This is nice.”

Ori grimaced at the clumsiness of his words. They did not properly express the way he did want her, so much, but was willing to wait until she felt ready for sex, supposing she ever was ready at all, and that it was fine if she never was ready because just holding her in his arms was already the nicest thing in the world.

She smiled at him though, and he kissed her again, on the lips this time. He liked her lips. They were not so soft but rather a little chaffed, always, and they tasted of warmth. Ori liked kissing the princess, and he liked it even more like this, with her whole body pressed against his. It was almost painful to feel her skin everywhere, so warm and soft and not soft, and her hairs scratching slightly against his skin every time they moved, and the smell of metal and sweat from the forge where she’d been working before coming, and the taste of warmth on her lips and so many other things that he would never have found the _words_ to describe.

It was overwhelming to just hold her and kiss her, just because she was Kili.

Even if they never did more than this, Ori would still be the happiest dwarf in the world.


	8. that could have gone better

"Well, that could have gone better," Kili muttered, and Ori nodded grimly. "I mean, I knew uncle wouldn’t be thrilled, but I didn’t think he’d lash out like that. Gotta hope Ma’ll be on our side. She should be."

She looked at Ori who had curled up on a corner of the bed, hands gripping his bare shoulders. When Thorin had come in, Ori had tried to put his cardigan back on, but he’d only managed one sleeve before the king’s anger had proved greater than either of them had expected. Ori still had that sleeve on, his only clothes except for his smalls.

Kili carefully crawled near him, and tentatively pulled him to her, softly enough that it’d be easy for him to resist if he couldn’t bear with that at the moment. She was glad when he let himself fall into her arms, still all curled up. She needed a hug pretty badly after some of the things Thorin had said.

"We’ll show him," she promised with a kiss to his forehead. "He’ll have to see we’re serious. And even if he decides to be a prick… even if Ma’s one too, if everyone’s against us… we’ll figure out something. No one can ever take you from me, no one but yourself."

Ori said nothing, but he uncurled and put his arms around her waist, clinging to her. It was enough of an answer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the battle is over, Ori has survived but Kili's life is still in the balance  
> warning for mentions of violence, off-screen amputation

Ori swung his hammer this way and that and hit nothing, so when he heard Dori’s voice begging him to stop, he did. The battle was over. They had won. It should have made him happy, but two feet from him, Ori could see the corpse of a man, and he was sure he’d laughed with him, that night in Laketown. He probably hadn’t been old enough to be called a man, in all honesty. Just a boy, much like Ori, but he’d died and Ori had lived.

It should have felt warm when Dori pulled him in his arms, but it didn’t. There was mud and blood everywhere, and Ori wasn’t sure he’d ever feel warm again. 

“We made it,” Dori whispered, his voice hoarse and sounding so distant. “We made it. And Nori too must have made it, we just need to find him… If that boy has escaped all of Ered Luin’s guards for so long, it’s going to take more than a few orcs to get to him.”

He smiled at Ori, but Ori didn’t smile back. He knew he should have, knew Dori needed the support, needed someone to help him believe that Nori might have survived this carnage, but Ori couldn’t smile. His face felt frozen in what he thought to be a neutral expression, but later learned looked more like a furious glare.

He felt Dori hug him again and pull him away, one step after another. Away from the battlefield and toward the mountain, toward the ruins of Dale. That was where everyone was everyone was gathering, all those who had survived. Almost everyone strong enough to walk was carrying someone wounded. Ori and Dori would have too, had they met anyone who looked alive.

“Nori’s with the healers,” someone told them (Bofur maybe)(probably Bofur). “Broke his arm and got hurt in the leg, but he’s mostly fine.”

Dori got directions, and ran them to where Nori was. Ori knew he cried, but it felt like something that was happening to someone else. The relief and sadness were not really his. Like the battle seemed to have happened to someone else. The difference was, it took some effort now to maintain the distance now, but the effort was necessary. If he felt happy to have his brothers alive, he might start thinking other things too, and that was bad. he was too tired to let himself feel anything. He could not even manage to be grateful when someone gave him a place to lay down. He just fell asleep, and hope that by morning he’d have forgotten everything he’d seen in the last few hours.

  
  


It was the middle of the night when someone shook Ori awake, and for a blessed second, he’d forgotten everything indeed. One second, and then he looked around and saw he wasn’t home, and this wasn’t his mother calling his name, but Balin.

“Kili is calling for you,” the old dwarf said. “Will you come? We fear she doesn’t have much time left…”

Guilt fell onto Ori so hard that he almost got sick from it. He hadn’t thought of Kili. Not once in hours. He’d been so scared, so obsessed with the idea of his own survival that he’d not thought about her, not even when things had been over. He should have, she was his One, she should have been on his mind all the time, but now she was dying while he’d been peacefully sleeping.

He stood up, and followed Balin out of the tent. He worried, as he walked, wondering if he should have waken up his brothers to tell them were he was going, but decided in the end it wasn’t needed. They’d know that there was only one place he could be if he wasn’t with them.

  
  


There were a few people in the tent that held Kili. Dwalin was there, and Fili, and Oin and Gloin, and that pretty ginger elf, the one who had saved Kili, back in Laketown. Elves were hard to read, but the look on her face made it plain enough that she didn’t think she could save the princess again. Even elves had their limits, and when Ori saw the shape of Kili’s legs under a sheet that had once been white, the odd angles and shattered shapes and…

“Ori,” Kili whispered, holding out her hand toward him, and then dropping it, the effort too much for her. “Ori, you’re alive, I’m so glad…”

“You’re alive too,” Ori replied, looking at her face as he came to kneel by her side, trying to ignore the stench of blood. Blood, and something else, something unclean that scared him and even though he’d never smelled it before, he feared it was an infection starting somewhere. “We’re all alive. We made it!”

Ori tried to smile, but his face wouldn’t obey, and he couldn’t make his voice sound cheerful. he wanted to pretend, for Kili’s sake, but she was almost as pale as him now, making the contrast with red and black blood even stronger.

“Don’t do that,” Kili begged. “Don’t, please. You don’t like to lie. And I know… Oin says…”

She couldn’t finish, and turned toward the healer instead. Oin shook his head.

“We’ll have to amputate,” he told Ori. “There’s no poison this time, but orc blood on its own is bad enough. She didn’t want us to do anything until she’d seen you though.”

In case she didn’t survive, he didn’t say, but Ori still heard it and desperately kissed Kili’s cheek.

“It’s not a lie,” he whispered. “You’ll make it. You’ve survived so much, you’re going to survive through this too, and… and we’ll get properly engaged and live together, and we’ll be happy and I’ll tell you stories and you’ll play the violin and everyone will say we’re too young but we’ll be happy anyway, and then one day we’ll get married and you’re going to be a princess and you’re going to be so great at it, you’ll help your uncle so well and everything will be fine. You’re going to make it, you have so much to do!”

Kili turned her face, silently asking for a proper kiss which Ori gave her. He’d never have done that in front of people normally, but the others barely felt there. All that mattered was him and Kili, who certainly wasn’t dying. Couldn’t be dying.

“I did want to live the rest of my life with you,” she sighed against his lips. “I’d have been happy to marry you.”

“You’re going to be so pretty, in a nice white dress with blue and gold embroidery… You’re going to be stunning.”

Kili forced a smile, but it didn’t last and tears started spilling from her eyes.

“I don’t want to die,” she sobbed. “It’s not fair, it’s… I don’t want to die!”

“Then we have to get started on you,” Oin said, coming closer and trying to push Ori aside. Kili did not allow it, grabbing one of Ori’s sleeves and clinging to it like a child.

“Let’s get married now,” she begged. “That way, when I die… please, please!”

Ori thought of lying, of telling her again that she would make it, that they’d get married later, in due time, with both of their families and the greatest party Erebor had ever known. But Kili was crying, and Oin looked worried. It would have been an insult to lie again, so Ori turned toward Balin, who was sitting with Fili and the others, trying not to listen to their conversation.

“Can you do that? Can you marry us?”

“If it were anyone else I’d say yes,” Balin sighed. “But she’s a princess, she can’t marry without royal permission, and as far as I know, Thorin hasn’t regained consciousness yet.”

Kili’s hand tightened on Ori’s sleeve and her sobbing increased. Ori turned to her again, kissing her cheek, her brow, all of her face as he whispered soothing nonsense to her.

“As Thorin’s heir, doesn’t that make me regent until he’s capable of ruling?” Fili asked. “It does, doesn’t it? We discussed it, in case something happened during the travel here. Until he opens his eyes, I’m as good as a king.”

“Are you saying…”

“I’m giving you my royal permission to marry my sister, Ori. Now Balin, do the thing, and then we’ll just… let Oin and Tauriel do what they can.”

“Thank you,” Kili whispered, more relaxed now but weaker.

Fili shrugged, refusing to look at his sister. 

  
  


Soon, everyone’s attention was on Balin anyway, as he recited the ritual words and guided the two young dwarves through their vows. It was a rushed business, probably the cheapest and quickest wedding any member of the royal family had ever had since Durin the Deathless herself, but it still wasn’t quick enough for Oin. As soon as Ori and Kili had exchanged beads, Oin threw everyone out, allowing no one but Tauriel to stay inside with him.

Gloin went to see if he could make himself useful. Balin and Fili went to see if there was any change with Thorin. Dwalin stayed with Ori though, the two of them sitting on the dirt, by the tent’s entrance. The sounds coming from inside were awful, and twice, Ori tried to get up to join Kili, to be with her even through this, but Dwalin stopped him each time.

“If I described something for you, would you paint it for me?” The older dwarf asked after a moment, when Ori started rocking nervously and pulling on his hair. “It’s something I’ve seen a while ago, when I travelled North. The sky there catches fire sometimes, with all the colours that exist.”

“Must be beautiful,” Ori murmured, trying hard to picture it, because it was better than thinking of what might be happening inside that tent.

“It is. I’ve seen only once, but it’s going to stay with me for ever.”

Ori nodded, but didn’t answer. He appreciated the attempt to distract him, but his thoughts still went back to Kili, and how he might never again talk to her. She hadn’t even had the strength to tie her bead in his hair, and Ori did not dare do it himself, not yet. When Oin would be done, for better or worse, Ori would tie his hair, but until then the weight and warmth of the gold in his hand was a comfort.

It felt like hours until Oin stepped out of the tent at last, alone. His hands were clean, still dripping with water, but there were red stains on his clothes.

“Tauriel is doing some elvish singing to make sure it won’t get infect,” he explained, clearly unconvinced by such methods. “Kili’s stable though. Sleeping, not bleeding anymore. Won’t know for sure if she’s going to pull through until a day or two, but the elf seems confident, and usually they know that sort of things.”

“Can I…” Ori mumbled, jumping to his feet but not daring to go in just yet.

“Just let the elf finish her singing before you talk, but yeah, go in there,” Oin said, with more kindness than usual. He turned to Dwalin then. “You, you’re coming with me. We always need some brute force in the healing business, you’ll do fine. We’re going to…”

But Ori didn’t hear the rest, already running inside the tent. Tauriel was just finished her song then, and washing Kili’s wounds with a water that smelled strongly of flowers. Ori dared not look at the empty space were Kili’s legs should have been, and instead he focused on her face, still far too pale but less tight with pain.

“She was lucky,” Tauriel said, inviting Ori closer with a graceful gesture. “They got her out from under Azog’s warg very early, and then your healer is… talented in the art of amputation. An elven doctor would not have done so well. We are… less used to using such desperate measures.”

Ori nodded, barely hearing her. He sat down next to Kili, and bent to kiss her forehead.

“She’ll live, I think,” Tauriel promised. “She’s strong, and her will is stronger yet. She will live.”

Ori did not answer, and kissed his princess, his wife, a second time.

She would live, he did not doubt it, if only because she was too stubborn to die.

She would live, and then they would figure out the rest.

  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be the first chapter of a longer story which saw Ori and Kili deal with their new wedding, Kili's new disability, the impact of the battle on them, and a lot of other stuff  
> but I don't think I'm capable of writing that story at present time, so I'm just posting this as is


End file.
